What magazine is complete without the horoscope? Madame Fuschia is in charge of MarsMag's zodiac predictions.

Hello, Madame. Tell us about yourself.
I see your future! It looks bleak.

Uh...right.
But do not despair! There is a way to lift the negativity.

Really?
Yes! You must boil the egg of the first animal you see tomorrow.

What if the animal doesn't lay eggs?
...Then you're doomed.

Oookay...Anyway, Madame, we heard Big Ben's giving you your own column for the new MarsMag.
Ah, yes. So many people sending me emails, asking for advice, asking for help. I think Big Ben finally saw how much people needed my help, that he gave me my own column.

Tala doesn't seem too happy about it.
He is an unbeliever. And his aura is dark. But you must not blame him. There is a big egotistical demon eating at his soul.

How old are you, Madame?
Huh! I'm suddenly struck by a vision! You're girlfriend..

Real Name: Unknown
A. K. A.: Madame Fuschia
Age: Unknown
Position: Columnist/Psychic

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What about her?
She will leave you.

What?!
She will leave you for your insensitivity! And all your future girlfriends will leave you until you learn to never ask a woman her age!

Alright. Sorry. What's your column about?
It's an advice column for all those people out there who are in need of some insights regarding the future of their relationships. Would you like me to give you some insights?

Uh, no, I'm fine. Thanks, Madame.